I was scheduled for my pre-op visit at St. Joseph's hospital today. When I did the session with the nurse and anesthesiologist last week over the phone, I was assured that I would only be there for an hour at the most. So, I arrive at 11:40 (ok, ok, I was supposed to be there at 11:30). I get nervous as there are 6 people waiting at the admission desk just to be acknowledged. The first two don't speak English. Boy, is this going to be fun. Finally, I get to hand them my driver's license and insurance card, and I am given a paper to review. After about 20 minutes (thank goodness for the handheld Dash with email), I get called into the admission cubby. She reviews the address, phone, and information on every relative in my family (including my extended family I think). I sign the consent forms. After meeting her standards, she takes me to the next phase.
The next phase is not so good. Everyone is looking angry, and they are mumbling to each other. I can tell immediately that things are not good. The two people sitting closest to me have been there for 3 and 4 hours. I am thinking that this is NOT going to work as I have a demo at 2. It is now 12:15. Lovely. The lady comments that she has to be there at 5am the next morning and she isn't sure why she isn't just spending the night. I had to laugh as she had a good point. After hearing the two of them gripe, I realize that they haven't done the phone part. Whew. I stand up as I have now started to cough really loudly. The waiting room is looking at me.
This man is suddenly talking very loudly to the lady who checked me in. He is demanding his driver's license. She keeps telling him that it is missing. Apparently, the clipboard with his enire medical history AND his driver's license are missing. Well, if that isn't a HIPAA violation, I am not sure what is. They are frantically looking for this clipboard when I am called for my labs. The waiting room is not happy and I can hear people protesting as I quickly rush through the door. As the lady is getting me a drink, I ask the nurse if someone can listen to my chest because I have started coughing. The anesthesiologist comes over, and she asks if I smoke. I very proudly tell her that I quit 3.5 months ago. She tells me that coughing after quitting smoking is common, and she says people comment to her all the time and let her know that they are not sure why they quit if they are going to have a cough. That cracked me up. Like they weren't couging before. Yeah, right.
She takes my blood, and I give a urine sample. They have decided that I need to have a Chest X-Ray to be sure. I am freaking at this point as I know I need to leave to get back for my demo. I tell the lady that I can only stay if they can do the X-Ray RIGHT now because I have to leave in the next 10-15 minutes. They are looking doubtful. I tell them that I can come back, but I cannot stay past 10 - 15 minutes. Of course, if they say to come back, I am SO NOT coming back. They find someone to do the X-Ray, and I go with her. She snaps the two picstures quickly and tells me I can go. As I walk out, the waiting room is really heated. Someone is still looking for that guy's driver's license and paperwork. Oh yeah, the other weird thing is that they gave me the hospital bracelet today. I really don't want to wear it all day tomorrow. ODD.
I cannot understand why this process was so hard. They could very easily have a kiosk and patient portal. I could have completed all of the information they took over the phone from my house. If they scanned the license instead of attaching it to a cliboard, it would hae been returned to the patient right away. Orders could be generated based on the type of surgery being done. It just seems like they make its so hard.
So, I know you are wondering what all this has to do with a bus?! First of all, Morgan tells me that she has an essay due tomorrow. Nice. Then, she asks me if I know what child abuse means. Who "calls" it, she wants to know. I am not sure what "calls" it means, so I keep asking. As it turns out, the first few days of school, she was the only kid on the bus. The bus driver's assistant was telling some story about the past where her ex-husband was mean and abusive. Also, her teacher told the class about some girl who "acted up" even though she had a nice foster family and even had someone who wanted to adopt her. She had "called" it child abuse and was sent to a foster home. Morgan says, "I look like I am not listning, but I am very good at hearing things that I am not supposed to hear." I was cracking up. How honest...
I keep getting asked about how they "go in" for a stone. Here is a link to help explain. In summary, "In ureteroscopy, a surgeon passes a thin viewing instrument into the ducts that carry urine from the kidney. Once a kidney stone is located the urologist typically removes the crystalline mass with forceps or a “basket” instrument."